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Indecision
by Zach Gauvin
As a result of my brain injury I have an extremely hard time on deciding things. Whether that be deciding where I want to go eat, trying to decide the between things or what to write about in my blog. It drives me insane and sometimes I stand in the same space for minutes trying to decide what it was that I am trying to do.
I’ll get up off the couch, go to the cabinet, open the doors and just stare at the food, for minutes. I know I want something to eat but I just don’t know what it should be. Chips or a candy bar? It’s almost like whatever I choose could mean life or death and it has to be the right or else.
I don’t get why I feel this way. I know it’s not life or death but I still treat it as though it is. I think I do this (unintentionally) because I want to make it a great experience. I know, you’re probably saying “easy Zach, it’s only food” but to me I think it’s subconsciously more.
I believe that it is subconsciously something more because after going through what I have been through (a near death experience) I want to make sure every last thing counts. So, I want it to be great and I want it to be amazing because I feel like life could be over in a blink of an eye.
It is a burden to carry because I know that I could just get something else or that it really doesn’t matter what I choose because they all go to the same spot (my stomach) and they all satisfy my hunger. But still I stare at the array of snacks in my cabinet not able to decide.
So, I tell myself “what’s going to happen if I choose this one?” to allow myself to get over the hump and actually pick something. This helps me hurry up and make a decision with whatever it is that I am choosing.
It helps me choose because I can’t think of anything bad that will happen if I choose whatever item that I have selected. “I’m not going to die, No one will be hurt, and so what’s the big deal if I choose this one?”
By Zach Gauvin - My blog: http://supportforbraininjuries.wordpress.com/
Brain Injury Support Group
It’s something that we, as brain injury survivors, must live with. Excruciating headaches or migraines that just won’t go away. The pain is unlike anything that we have ever felt. These headaches occur when ever I concentrate too hard on anything, whenever I get excited or even when I get confused.
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Thank you so much for your comments and support! -Tori